What's Love Have To Do With It...

Who said a man has the right to hit a woman? Do you know how sad it is for a woman to look at herself in the mirror and see her face or her body all full of bruises. As a man, how would you feel if the victim was your sister, your mother or your daughter?

Physical abuse is a reality that is affecting the life of many women nowadays. This reality rises a lot of questions that might have the wrong answers for the women that are victims of this problem.

Why is this happening to me?

The worse part of it is to think that it's her fault, but no matter what a man is physically stronger than a woman and she will always at a disadvantage. On the other hand, even if is the woman provokes the fight (provided he is in his five senses,not drunk, on drugs or anything like that) he should keep control over the situation and either walk away or try to stop the altercation with out hurting her.

Why do I continue taking this physical abuse? It is because of love, habit or fear?

The truth is you shouldn't love somebody who instead of loving you, respect and protect you is hurting you. Never let a situation turn into a habit. Remember after all, if you allow this to happen once, it's going to continue happening and if you have kids they will get the message that this situation is normal which in turn will create a cycle that will never end. Unfortunately, most of time women stay in this abusive relationships because of fear. If this is your case, seek help.

Start by preparing yourself mentally, analyze the situation and ask yourself:

1. Do I really love this person who is not only hurting me physically but also emotionally. (Don't forget that this abuse damages the person more internally than physically.)

2. What's coming after? Is my life or my kids life in danger? Is this the right environment in which I should raise my kids?

3. Picture your life before, during and possibly after the abuse.

4. If it's fear what's keeping you there, do your research with a best friend, a family member or an agency and get advice, protection and the help you need.

5. Finally, value and love yourself first before anybody, you deserve it. You don't deserve to live in this situation. Give yourself a new chance to start all over again with someone who loves you. Life is too short don't waste it and what's even worse don't lose it in an abusive relationship like this.

Unforgivable Mistakes...

Sometimes we make mistakes perhaps for fun, for the lack of love and attention from our partner, perhaps because with time we fall into a routine or just because we don’t love our partner anymore. My question is:

Would you forgive unfaithfulness?

Would it be possible for you to be happy knowing that the person whom you have never been unfaithful to,

The one who is supposed to love you and share those special moments just with you, didn’t care and failed you?

Would you trust this person again?

Do you think the anger, the jealousy, and the disappointment you feel now would let you be happy with this person again?

Do you think there is a valid reason for this person to be unfaithful to you?

Do you think it would be worthy to forgive and to forget?

Would you forget?

The truth is, when we cheat we jeopardize a lot of things that we shouldn’t risk for just a moment of fun. If that is the case then,

Where was the love that person was supposed to feel for you?

On the other hand, if it wasn't just for fun then we have more reason not to forgive. In my opinion, when a relationship is darkened by the cloud of unfaithfulness there is nothing else to look for.

We should turn the page and close that chapter of our lives. It's not worth forgiving someone who disrespected you that way, someone who hurt you and what is even worse, someone who didn’t think about you and the possibility of losing you.

Life is too short, give yourself the opportunity to find someone who is really willing to live for you. Someone who respects you and with whom you can live a pure love without anything that will ruin it. It is better to be alone than with the wrong person.

Alone

I’m alone…

And I like it.

I enjoy the peace of mind, there’s nothing like it

Conversations with my shoes—they do most of the talkin

The dialogue you can hear, at least

But the convos are far better with my mind

The talks that she and I have can only be achieved…when I’m alone.

I’m alone…

And I wouldn’t have it any other way

But it’s not like a have a choice, I’m alone every day—

Every night

Walking under the street lights, dazing into the eyes of the moon—

I hope she comes back to me soon

But until then, I’m alone—there’s not much I can do

Try to get around to get my mind off of you

But that doesn’t do much—they’re not quite my style

I don’t get down

the way they get down

And so I’m alone

And I miss you dearly

They say that space is good, but they overlooked this…

Clearly

I’m an independent man, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need you

Because the fact is that I do, you have consumed me

I used to breathe you, bleed you, sleep you…eat you

I miss those days, those nights are far out of reach now

Now I can only enjoy you temporarily for a time here—a time there…

It isn’t quite fair, but these are the sacrifices we make…

We’re too much alike—not enough sense of urgency,

Because we both have a firm grip on life…

We both know what it takes to make it work,

And so we do it

No questions asked, barely any second thoughts

You know I gotta work, I know you gotta work

And so we understand…and maybe that’s the problem

When does sacrifice become an excuse?

When is enough, enough and we refuse to take the abuse?

Everyone has needs, and I hope you’re not playing me…

Playing with mine

Heartbroken I will be,

Heartless even, maybe

Adjustments made, plans out the window,

But at least I won’t have to start from scratch because I know how it feels

To be alone

When it’s as cold inside as it is out

And there’s no one to hold on to for warmth

Except yourself…

Self-reliance is my name, and maybe you were just a crutch

Because

Now you’re just a convenience, I don’t need you all that much

And I know you feel the same, so we see each other when we can

Not because we’re dangerously in love anymore

We’re not 12-years-old anymore

Grow up

But really the only way to do that

The only way you know you’ve made it

Is when you look around and see no one there…

And smile to the air.

It's this or that.. which one is it?

Swear to me that you have yet to forgot me

If you tell me that there isn't any love
then with pain in my heart I shall walk away.

If later you realize that in fact you do love me
but your pride pushes me away
than honor your heart.

If destiny makes you regret the decision and you go back on your word
I refuse to accept an apology.

Swear that you have completely forgotten my love
Knowing that in an instant you get a flashback of how much I meant to you

If this taunting and teasing is what I deserve
please God help me

I know that I'm to blame
All I wanted to do was love him
But I failed in love.

If I'm crazy to think that you would still love me
please lie to me
and do it shamelessly

I prefer that you would lie to me
than to be sincere
don't ruin my illusion..

When will it all be over?

No matter how many times I fall and hit my head on the rock I just DON'T learn.

Ugh. I don't know how many times the story needs to be repeated for me to finally understand and get the point.

I'm sad and I feel like crying, I'm angry, too, but at the same time a million thoughts are running through my mind at full speed.

Every time I start giving the benefit of the doubt and ASSUME things can possibly get better...because we never know what the future holds, I just get taken back and slapped in the face with reality.

You are a father to be--probably one of the hardest news that I ever had to deal with.

The fact that you got married was hard enough, but I always told myself, "there's always divorce."

But now?...Now you are gonna be a father! A commitment that lasts a lifetime.

And not saying that we we're gonna ever get back together, but we never knew what the future held. But now? Now there is no chance at all.

I refuse to let you keep hurting me. What I don't understand is why you keep coming around? Why you keep looking for me?

Is it guilt?

Are you trying to smooth your way into telling me yourself?

I don't know what you want from me. I found out on my own and you have no idea I know yet.

But I'm waiting for your call because I'm officially done with this whole situation, that you have once again dragged me into after I was doing great moving on and forgetting all about you.

I was very much happy but then I found myself coming back to this...it's hurting and killing me because now the both of you will be attached forever.

I guess it's time for me to let it go and move on.

No matter how much I decided not to accept it.

Maybe I've been getting signs that I refuse to accept, but for some reason the signs keep getting worse. This is more like a slap in the face.

This is going to take me some time...maybe a lot of time.
(sigh) I don't know what to think anymore.

I keep holding my tears back as I sit here and reminisce. Trying to figure out why we never worked.

We lived together and I was practically your wife. You never decided to propose to me, let alone marry me. We spoke about having children a million times and tried and tried.

I guess it wasn't meant to be or meant for me. No matter how much we tried, I couldn't get pregnant.

Those that know me, know how I feel about having kids. It's a big deal to me. I want lots of kids. Now the fact that you are having them with her...well how should I feel?..

Mrz Endy

The future always drags the past along..

One of my biggest problems in life has been staying quiet and keeping things bottled in.
I have always tried to hide my true feelings.

But for once I wanna tell you the truth. I know it's too late to speak out now and it probably won't mean anything, but it hurts to hold on just as much as it hurts to let go.

I have realized that some things we want in life are not always what's good for you. However, at times you find yourself running back to that same place when you least expect it.

We all know what's the one thing missing in my life. We have shared so many great times and memories together. But that's all they are now...memories.

One memory I can never forget is our cruise. We sat at the table drinking champagne and eating chocolates and you looked at me. Gave me this look...with shiny, gleamy eyes...a look that said it all.

We were both quiet, but that moment said soo much. I would give everything I have, just for you to look at me like that. Just one more time. That moment will always stay in my heart.

Much time has passed and so many things have happened, but for some reason I can't forget you or stop loving you. No matter how many times we have told each other "this is the last time you will hear from me," it never is the last time and we both know it never will be the last time.

For some reason, we still hold on to each other no matter what has gotten in between us--even the fact that you have gotten married. You still call me constantly, but it kills me everyday. I know nobody can tell you when you have had enough--nobody but yourself. However, I still wait for the day that you come back to me.

I don't think I will ever be comfortable getting serious with another person. You still hold my heart and I feel you always will.

I keep putting myself out there and I'm looking to love that person, but the one that I want keeps walking out on me. Since day one, back in May 2004, at that party when we had our first dance (that even until this day you tell me you remember the song we danced) I knew you were the one I would fall in love with, and I did.

I wish the past could be reversed.

I would do everything completely different!

It's a shame that when you have something good, you take it for granted. Now you have changed so much.

You were this great guy who everyone respected, but I think that you don't even know what you want in your life. Obviously you made your choice.

You married her, even though we shared wonderful years together and lived together, I was practically your wife. You never wanted to make that commitment with me. So why do you keep looking for me?

If I wasn't good enough to be your wife than why do you still want me in your life? I should have been left in the past when we parted ways.

We both know that in your heart, you are holding onto something much stronger that maybe your pride won't let you face...all I can say is I hope time will tell the truth...because you will never let me go...our hearts don't do what our mind tells it to.

Kisses,
Mrz Endy