The hard task of being a mother......

Have you ever thought that there is no harder thing in this life than to be a mother? Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts that God gave us as women. As we grow up we always dream of getting married have kids and create a beautiful family. We leave our parents to become parents ourselves and with pride we celebrate what we believe is one of our biggest accomplishments as a human being - having a baby.

Though we women have to go through the hassle of the nine months pregnancy (morning sickness, nausea, headaches, dizziness and even throwing up everything you eat) and see our bodies getting all discombobulated with stretch marks, cellulite and the overweight, we still enjoy to see our bellies growing and can't wait to have that little person who is part of us, soon in our arms.

The day we go into labor no matter how many hours you spend with those horrible contractions, how long we suffer pushing and not caring how many people sees you almost naked, looking at your vagina, you are still patiently waiting to receive that baby with all the love of your heart.
Once it's here; as loving and caring mothers, we give up our hours of sleep, our leisure and pleasures, we hardly have time for ourselves all to do the best as a mother.

We celebrate their first tooth, their first word and their first step. We spend years watching and taking care of them. We feed them, bathe them, spend long hours on a rocking chair during midnight when they cry and even long nights in a hospital when they get sick.

As they continue growing, we celebrate their achievements and suffer their disappointments with them. When they have problems, we are there for them to try to find the solutions and when somebody breaks their hearts, we offer our shoulders for them to cry one more time, as when they were babies, when we see them falling, we go to help them stand again.

We wish nothing could hurt them and try to do our best to avoid them making mistakes. However, no matter how much of a good mother we are trying to be, they never appreciate what we do for them. They consider us over protective, demanding and too strict. The typical pain in the ass who anybody would like to get rid off. They don't care that we are worried when they go out and it's four in the morning and we don't know where and how they are. They sometimes disrespect you, curse you out, they don't care to see you crying and don't respect our sufferings as mothers. If we are too strict, they hate us and if we spoil them, we are not doing them any favor.

We try to be the best mother in the world, still to their eyes we are the wicked witch because we don't allow them to live their lives the way they want. At times they make us doubt if we are a good mother or not, if what we do as mothers is right and we just don't know anymore if we should make them understand their mistakes or let them learn from them.

The truth is, kids don't come with an instruction booklet under their arms and we mothers are learning at the same time with them as life put us through all this. What they should never forget is that as we were kids one day and now we are mothers the same way they will be parents one day.

Unfortunately, it's not going to be until then when they would finally realize the sufferings and tribulations that comes with parenthood.

What's Love Have To Do With It...

Who said a man has the right to hit a woman? Do you know how sad it is for a woman to look at herself in the mirror and see her face or her body all full of bruises. As a man, how would you feel if the victim was your sister, your mother or your daughter?

Physical abuse is a reality that is affecting the life of many women nowadays. This reality rises a lot of questions that might have the wrong answers for the women that are victims of this problem.

Why is this happening to me?

The worse part of it is to think that it's her fault, but no matter what a man is physically stronger than a woman and she will always at a disadvantage. On the other hand, even if is the woman provokes the fight (provided he is in his five senses,not drunk, on drugs or anything like that) he should keep control over the situation and either walk away or try to stop the altercation with out hurting her.

Why do I continue taking this physical abuse? It is because of love, habit or fear?

The truth is you shouldn't love somebody who instead of loving you, respect and protect you is hurting you. Never let a situation turn into a habit. Remember after all, if you allow this to happen once, it's going to continue happening and if you have kids they will get the message that this situation is normal which in turn will create a cycle that will never end. Unfortunately, most of time women stay in this abusive relationships because of fear. If this is your case, seek help.

Start by preparing yourself mentally, analyze the situation and ask yourself:

1. Do I really love this person who is not only hurting me physically but also emotionally. (Don't forget that this abuse damages the person more internally than physically.)

2. What's coming after? Is my life or my kids life in danger? Is this the right environment in which I should raise my kids?

3. Picture your life before, during and possibly after the abuse.

4. If it's fear what's keeping you there, do your research with a best friend, a family member or an agency and get advice, protection and the help you need.

5. Finally, value and love yourself first before anybody, you deserve it. You don't deserve to live in this situation. Give yourself a new chance to start all over again with someone who loves you. Life is too short don't waste it and what's even worse don't lose it in an abusive relationship like this.

Let's get serious..

For those of you that know me, you know my life is an open book. I've always put my life out there and I don't hide anything because I don't feel I need to.
However I have never put my family life out there. Its a very sensitive topic but I have a lot to say that can maybe and hopefully help a lot of people out there.


About a little more than a year ago my sister was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (known as MS) .
MS is a cronic and sometimes disabling disease that attacks the central nervous system which is made up of the optic nerves, spinal cord and the brain. The cause of MS has yet to be determined. Most say it's an Immune system disease. The bodys own defense system attacks the myelin (the subtance that surrounds and protects the nerve fibers in the central nervous system). When any part of the myelin is damaged or destroyed the nerve signals going and coming from and to the brain and spinal cord are disturbed or interrupted which causes the symptoms of MS.

There are three stages of MS the early stages, moderate and severe. Severe causing paralysis and blindness.

The symptoms and causes of MS range differently in people. Some get it early on and quickly and some don't get any symptoms at all for a long time since being diagnosed. Some signs of MS can be dizziness, numbness, not being able to stand or walk without being in a great deal of pain.

My sister found out because she said her arm was numb and at times she wasn't getting any feeling in her right arm. One morning she could barely stand and my mom had to rush her to the hospital. They ran some test and did an MRI and which showed spots on her brain. Luckily she was early on in the stages of MS and with treatment she was able to slow down the symptoms and the process of MS getting to the level of severe.

People diagnosed with MS include TV show host Montell Williams (who is actually being diagnosed by the doctor that is diagnosing my sister), R&B singer Tamia, it's been said that Ozzy Osbourne was but then it turned out to be a false alarm even though he was getting the symptoms of MS, actor/comedian Richard Pryor and many more.

My sister was doing well in the beginning keeping up with her medication and daily shot. There are different treatments for MS and my sister was on Copaxone which is taken by injection. It basically acts as a myelin decoy blocking the myelin-damaging cells. However lately she has refused to take her medications. The doctor told her as long as she takes the medication the spots she already had won't go away but at least new ones won't form. Recently she went to the doctor for her check up and they found more spots on her brain since she refuses to take her medication.

Her excuse of not taking it isn't valuable either. She wants to party, drink. She doesn't get enough sleep at times she comes home in broad daylight changes clothes and goes to work. She is stressing her body and her brain which will just cause the symptoms to appear faster. Apparently she doesn't care one bit! The doctor himself told her he was surprised that she wasn't getting symptoms yet and to consider herself lucky. She wears heals everyday while some women with MS can't wear them at all and some can't even walk I. Their own but she keeps on taking this as a joke.

My mother constantly fights about her ordering the shots but she refuses. I feel bad for her but we can't force her to take the shots. Sometimes I believe she is still in denial. She tells my mom she is and feels fine. But MS can change rapidly from one day to another. I've heard of cases where some have woken up, not being able to move and get out of bed because they can't walk or feel their legs.

I don't know what goes on in her mind or why she doesn't want to take care of herself. It saddens me really but what can I do??! Her excuse is that she doesn't want to inject herself for the rest of her life but she doesn't understand the millions of people that have to inject themselves not only with MS but how about diabetes? They still go on to live a healthy happy life. (Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Nick Jonas from the pop group Jonas Brothers).

I don't understand a person who has a chance to live better why won't you take it? She sees all these girls in the doctors office that weren't as lucky as herself and already suffer on a pretty bad level with the symptoms of MS.

I just hope she doesn't wake up without being able to move or walk and then she will want to take care of herself. When it's too late. Hopefully she will wake up from her stupidity one day soon and start taking care of herself..

For her own good and well being because she is just hurting herself..

The Game of Life

One good day you will look back and you will finally realize that what worries you, makes you cry and suffer today will only make you laugh, even make you feel ridiculous about the way you felt and acted in the past.

Everything in life comes to an end one day and you can finally get over anything.

The most important thing is not how, when and how high we fell, but knowing how to get up, shake it off and continue with more strength as life will put us through a lot more challenges and every day they will be even harder.

They say "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger," it's cowards who give up and as we continue living we have no other choice but to use that strength to face the new challenges that will come with life.

In our lives nothing is a waste of time, we always learn something from what we live whether it's positive or negative.

Finally moving on..

as time has gone by the Icy wall surrounDing my heart
has began tO melt.
my life didNt begin wiTh him
and it definateLy dOesn't end without him.

its not easy putting yourself out there but iVe decidEd i will tell mY own stOry.

as most of yoU know by now yes i was hurt.
however im over thAt part of my life.
im oN a new journeY and as i said subconciously iM trying tO find something,
im looking foR somEthing,
i dont know what yet ,
but i know i dont have it,
so im on the path of getting it.

there is nothing better than embracing your life and saying goodbye to what held you back all this time.
i have lots of plans for this year.

im glad he is out of my life..

(there is a message in the capital letters) ;-)

LET'S GET PERSONAL: A little about me..

I dont think anyone has ever really understood me. And maybe I even thrive off of that..

I dont even think my closest friends, mom, sis and my cousin, get me MOST of the time. "Its like they hear what I am saying but they're not feeling my words or my pain". I am like a puzzle that cant be put together.

I am the kind of person that just shuts off and shuts down instantly. It's like I will hold on and deal and then when the day finally comes, even I dont see it.. it just becomes what it is.

Some people never change and then others are always evolving...

Some people want the simple things and others are aiming for the grand prize.

Some are content with where they stand and others keep finding ways to get to the next thing.

I used to be the girl that lived for the moment. I never EVER cared about what people said, or even thought about me. I never gave away my heart, I always played with hearts. I was never the girl to take anything or anyone too seriously.

I think back and remember the days when i was wanted by many and i played with many hearts and minds. Until one comes along and drags you off your feet (yes not sweep you off your feet) and your whole life changes. For the worse.. it's rearly ever for the good.

I remember clubbing almost every weekend just to forget about the problems... countless times in VIP, endless pictures online so "they" can see that I'm doing just fine..

and that had been my life for awhile..

there comes a point where you finally just want to stop.

I lived the party girls life and im content with saying no more to that.

The only part I miss is the dress up part LOL

I dont regret anything... I am actually happy I got to be crazy for a while.

And yeah, every now and then I might decide to step out and remind everyone how I'm not an old lady LOL..

but my mind is somewhere else now.. subconciously im finding something, looking for something..

I don't know what yet..

Life is all about struggles & finding the way to cope them

Nothing is impossible in life (everything comes at the right moment) nor is anybody smarter or more capable than anybody; God gave us the tools, is up to us to put them to work. Never give up on your personal goals, the harder it is to achieve them the more you will appreciate what will come as a result, and the prouder you would feel about yourself.

Be somebody’s role model, not anybody's disappointment!!!!