LET'S GET PERSONAL: A little about me..

I dont think anyone has ever really understood me. And maybe I even thrive off of that..

I dont even think my closest friends, mom, sis and my cousin, get me MOST of the time. "Its like they hear what I am saying but they're not feeling my words or my pain". I am like a puzzle that cant be put together.

I am the kind of person that just shuts off and shuts down instantly. It's like I will hold on and deal and then when the day finally comes, even I dont see it.. it just becomes what it is.

Some people never change and then others are always evolving...

Some people want the simple things and others are aiming for the grand prize.

Some are content with where they stand and others keep finding ways to get to the next thing.

I used to be the girl that lived for the moment. I never EVER cared about what people said, or even thought about me. I never gave away my heart, I always played with hearts. I was never the girl to take anything or anyone too seriously.

I think back and remember the days when i was wanted by many and i played with many hearts and minds. Until one comes along and drags you off your feet (yes not sweep you off your feet) and your whole life changes. For the worse.. it's rearly ever for the good.

I remember clubbing almost every weekend just to forget about the problems... countless times in VIP, endless pictures online so "they" can see that I'm doing just fine..

and that had been my life for awhile..

there comes a point where you finally just want to stop.

I lived the party girls life and im content with saying no more to that.

The only part I miss is the dress up part LOL

I dont regret anything... I am actually happy I got to be crazy for a while.

And yeah, every now and then I might decide to step out and remind everyone how I'm not an old lady LOL..

but my mind is somewhere else now.. subconciously im finding something, looking for something..

I don't know what yet..