Wishful Thinking..

Dreams- an unconscious thought of how u wish things would actually be.

So in this case.. I was having nightmares. Or maybe just a nightmare because it's the same one over and over.

You would think I would grow bored of it already,
At least grow immune to it, after a year and sooo many months have come and gone.

I didn't feel as if the pain had weakened over time.

Instead, I felt that I've become strong enough to bear it.

I go days, even weeks, without thinking about it at all.
Then.. Something always takes me right back.

I don't want to think of it, but I must remember it.

Sometimes I worry that it's all slipping away.
That my mind would go blank someday, and I would not be able to remember...

For some reason.. that I don't yet understand, I can't get myself to forget.

Regardless of that hole in my chest,
That burning feeling I get when I think of it,
The nights I miss you like crazy,
The days I remember.. Good times I wish to forget..
The nights I try to sleep while I fight back my tears,

But tonight...

Tonight I will let myself cry..
Tomorrow is a brand new day..